you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
