My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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