I didn't shave. On purpose
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
