dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
