maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
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I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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