I hate your face
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
