Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
