you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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