I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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