I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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