His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
