i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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