Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
