shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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