this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
