it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Randomize
