I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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