I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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