the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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