I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It's official drugs can't kill me
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
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