it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
