I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Let's paint friendship bongs
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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