Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
