Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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