i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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