he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
