I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
