brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
