Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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