dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
