They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
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full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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