"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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