I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
you will always have a special place in my vag
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
