guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
