remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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