You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
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Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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