Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i think i have two assholes
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
