Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
