is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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