im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
