Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
