just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
