she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
