I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
