Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
