Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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