In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
