i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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