When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
