Are we in a gay sports bar?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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