i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
