farters have to be the big spoon...
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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