We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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