I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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