we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
