its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
