If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
