Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
