we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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