Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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