meet me or not, i'm out of control
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
