porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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