At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
