Say something about gay babies.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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